Love Yourself Before Loving Someone Else

Monday's turn of events have encouraged me to write this blog.

I got a call around 12:15pm today from my cousin, who said she was stopped by the police and she saw two other police cars coming up behind her also. She wanted to know if I could meet her on Charleston Highway. I told her I would.

So I called my job to let them know I may be late and got on the interstate to head to the scene. Not even 5 minutes, I got another call, this time from her friend who was riding in the car with her. She tells me that my cousin is going to be taking to the county's detention center for driving without car insurance and driving with a suspended license.

**((Thud))**

I knew that could have possibly been the case before hand, because I know my cousin. Her money management skills are poor, even though she has a decent job where she can pay her bills on time.

I got to the area where the police had my cousin in custody and she is so paranoid about the whole situation. Her friend and I told her we would come down to the sheriff's office to see what needed to be done.

Meanwhile, her friend fills me in on half the stuff that I already know. Like how my cousin is busting her butt paying all the bills in her house while her so called boyfriend lives there for free, doesn't pay her any attention half of the time, and when she tries to hold a conversation he ignores her. Is this not enough reason that brotherman need not be in her house??? Let me also add that my cousin (although dude gave her the money to put down on his car) got his car and her car registered in her name, insurance in her name, so guess who are making the payments: her!!!

Just hearing all of that had me pissed to the 10th power.

Get to the courthouse for the bond hearing and before we could have sit down good, the judge granted bond at $2790 so 10% of that would have been $280 (Let me not forget that we found out later there where a total of 5 charges that were against her, all of them related to either driving under suspension or no car insurance). None of us in Columbia are walking around with that kind of money these days to pay a surety bond or otherwise.

The kicker to this story is, when we called the so-called boyfriend to let him know what went down, he told us he did not have any money to get her out. He had gave her $60 earlier that morning for the car insurance and that was all he had.

Nah, you just became the weakest link.

He and everything he got would have been out of my door. Find ya own dayum place.

As much as I have told my cousin to love herself first, she still thinks she needs to stand by this deadbeat. Well if she really think she needs to continue to stand by her even though he did not budge to try to get some funds available for her bond, then something is wrong with her!!!

If you don't love yourself, how do you expect someone to love you back?

I know there are people who do not like to live alone, that they must have someone in their lives as an companion. If you don't know how to live by yourself (and be happy) what makes you think you can make your mate happy?

No one needs to go through emotional abuse because they think having someone in your life as a boyfriend/girlfriend is the only way to go. You can do bad by yourself.

My opinion is this dude is just trying to milk her hard earned money from her to do other things with it. She will need to be the one to determine enough is enough.

I guess that is why I am happy being single. Don't get me wrong, I do want to have someone in my life who is outgoing, respectful, supports my goals and I support his, if I am in a bind, then he comes and gets me out of that bind (and vice versa), someone who loves me for me and not for the materialistic things or just for a jump in the sack. But if I got to go through hell on high water trying to get a man to spend quality time with me or even help me when I am in a bind, then just go ahead and pass go, leave the $200 in place and keep it moving.

Know somebody who is going through verbal/emotional abuse? Refer them to this link to check out the articles:


http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

BYOB

Normally when you see "BYOB" it's usually indicated on a flyer at a party or a social gathering. Yet, never would you ever think to use that term at a place of residence.

Well now you can.

Someone I know fits the perfect BYOB status...my oldest sister. She can invite you over for dinner, telling you what time dinner starts and whatnot. Sounds good till you get there and see the meal but NOTHING to drink.

The hostess is sitting down with her own glass of pink lemonade, while you and the rest of the members of the house are quenching for thirst.

Wrong, just plain wrong!!!

I ask, "Well what's to drink here?" and she answers, "Water". Hmm...while water may be the best choice of drink, it is not always what you want to drink. Can't we get some pink lemonade too, kool-aid, SOMETHING???

From that point forward, I had been bringing my own beverage. When I get the dinner invite, I just go ahead and bring my own kool-aid packs or grab a 2 liter drink so that the general public (that would be the rest of us) would have something to drink when we have dinner. I tell her, "This is for the general public, since you got to hide your pink lemonade from everybody else." The beverage issue is the main discrepancy. My sister hides her Chips A hoy cookies too.

I will never understand...